


We'll Never Be Truly Free

by a_mind_at_work



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anxiety, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, it's gonna be sad but it'll be cute too i promise
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-27
Updated: 2016-05-27
Packaged: 2018-07-10 13:38:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6987280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_mind_at_work/pseuds/a_mind_at_work
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alexander Hamilton and John Laurens have been dating for five months now, but they've managed to keep it a secret from everyone except their close friends and Alex's foster parents, the Washingtons. When John's homophobic, politician father sees a video that, if leaked, would heavily imply his son is gay, the boys and their friends must team up to protect Alexander and Laurens' secret. If they fail, Laurens' life may be in danger.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We'll Never Be Truly Free

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to one specific tumblr user (who I won't name in case they want to remain anonymous!) and to everyone who read the first three parts of this fic on tumblr who overwhelmingly supported the idea of making it a full length fic over here on Ao3! <3

“I hate coming here,” John Laurens grumbled as he and Alex walked up the steps of the state legislative building where Laurens’ father, Henry Laurens, worked. 

“It’ll be quick,” Alexander said, trying to comfort his boyfriend. “All you need to do is drop something off with his secretary, right?”

“Yeah, but that’s much more than I want to do,” Laurens sighed.

Alexander wanted to take Laurens’ hand, but he couldn’t. They were in the heart of downtown and the sidewalks were crawling with colleagues and enemies of Henry Laurens. They were crawling with people who would _love_ to know that Henry Laurens’ only son was gay. Alexander was forced to watch, helpless, as his boyfriend suffered.

Once they were inside, they pushed the button for an elevator. The elevators were old looking with ornate golden doors. Alexander could hear one of the elevators chugging down to their floor.

The large doors creaked open and the two boys stepped in. Laurens hit the button for the seventh floor and leaned back against the railing with a sigh. The doors shut and the elevator began to rise.

Alex watched the screen displaying the floor level flick from one, to two, to three, and four. Just when it should have hit five, the elevator lurched to an alarming halt.

“Wh-what just happened?” Alex asked, grabbing onto the railing to keep from falling.

Laurens’ eyes were wide. “This has never happened before,” he said. Then he groaned. “It looks like we’ll be trapped here a while…” he said with a sigh.

Alex could feel his heart beating in his throat. _Trapped. Trapped. Trapped._ The word kept repeating in his mind. Laurens must have noticed something wasn’t right with the smaller boy because he reached out to him, gently grabbing Alexander’s chin and locking his eyes on Alex’s. 

“Hey, I’m with you, okay? We’re gonna be okay. This is just a glitch and they’re going to get it fixed as soon as they can. Until then, let’s sit down and breathe, okay?” He spoke as if Alex might break at any moment. 

Laurens grabbed Alex’s forearms and gently guided him to the ground. “Shut you eyes, babe,” he said softly.

Alex did as he was told and soon felt Laurens’ arms around him, holding him close, stroking his dark curls. 

“It’s all gonna be okay,” Laurens said soothingly, gently rocking them both back and forth.

After a few moments, a voice crackled over a speaker. “You boys okay in there? We’ve almost got this thing up and running again.”

“Yeah,” Laurens said quickly. “Thanks.” 

After another moment Alex suddenly felt Laurens’ hand freeze where it’d been rubbing small circles on his back.

“H-how did he know we were two boys?” Laurens was silent for a moment. “Oh, shit,” he whispered. “Alex, there’s a camera in here. A camera. They saw! They’ll tell him!” 

Alex’s eyes shot open and he sucked in a deep breath. “No,” he said. “God, John, no! Maybe they don’t know you or who he is, though, right? I mean this might all be fine.”

Laurens shook his head. “No, they’ll know. And it’s on tape. I’m screwed.” He dropped his head into his hands. “My life is over,” he said.

“No, it’s not,” Alex said, grabbing one of Laurens’ hands. “And whatever happens, we’re going to face it together.” He wove his fingers through Laurens.

Just then, the elevator buzzed to life and finished its ascent to the seventh floor. The doors opened.

A woman with a fancy black cane was standing in front of the elevator door when it opened. “John Laurens, is that you?” she asked, squinting her eyes at the boy, who was still sitting on the floor next to Alexander.

“Uh, yes, hi, Mrs. Murkley,” Laurens stammered.

“I’ve been waiting for you!” She sounded exasperated. “You father won’t get off my back about those papers.”

Laurens and Alexander both breathed a small sigh of relief. They stood up and scurried off the elevator. 

“I have them right here, Mrs. Murkley,” Laurens said, pulling off his backpack and unzipping it. He handed the older woman a stack of important looking documents held together with a huge binder clip.

“Thank you, John,” she said with a tight smile. 

“You’re welcome, Mrs. Murkley. Have a great day,” Laurens said, then turned quickly back to the elevator.

“John!” a voice boomed from down the hall. “John, is that you?” 

Alex watched a look of horror pass over his boyfriend’s face. Laurens stood still, as if the stiller he was, the more unlikely it was that he would be spotted.

“John!” the voice was getting angrier.

“Y-yes, father,” Laurens said. He turned to face the man who had approached the two boys and older woman.

“I need to speak with you. Now.” Henry Laurens turned to Alexander. “And he stays out here.” The venom in his voice sent a shiver down Alex’s back.

Mrs. Murkley just raised her eyebrows and shrugged, as if this was all in a day’s work, before waddling back down the hall to her office.

Laurens gave Alexander a pleading look before helplessly following his father down the hallway and out of sight. 

Alexander waited by himself for what felt like a million eternities. He watched a few people get on and off of the elevators, all of them now running smoothly. He stared at the pattern on the rug. He steadfastly looked down at his shoes. But most of all, he berated himself. 

He knew whatever Laurens was facing right now was all his fault. If only he hadn’t had that panic attack. If only he’d been stronger. If only he’d never waltzed into Laurens’ life bringing only destruction and pain.

Alex shut his eyes and leaned his head back against the wall. He wanted to sink into the rug and leave his beautiful, freckled Laurens to lead a happy life. He wanted to erase the stain he’d already left there.

“Alex?” 

Alexander opened his eyes and saw Laurens, looking frailer than Alex had ever seen him, standing in front on him, shaking. 

“What did he do to you?” Alex whispered. 

“I convinced him it wasn’t what it looked like,” Laurens said, his voice hoarse. His eyes were red and puffy, as if he’d been crying. “He’s buying it for now, but it’s only a matter of time.” Laurens eyes were filling with tears again.

“Let’s get you out of here,” Alexander said. 

This time, the two boys jogged down the stairs. Once they were outside, they both headed in the same direction without sharing a single word. Soon, they reached one of their many spots around the city–– a bench mostly concealed from the view of other pedestrians by large shrubs. 

Once they were seated there, Laurens grabbed onto Alexander, burying his face in the smaller boy’s chest, and began to sob. Alex held him close, running his fingers through Laurens’ brown curls and rocking him back and forth. He whispered the same things Laurens always said to him, but he was worried his words were empty. How could he promise Laurens everything would actually be okay?

Soon, Laurens stopped crying. He pulled away from Alexander and wiped his nose on his sleeve. 

“He believed me,” Laurens finally said. “But I have to show up to the next public event with a girl on my arm.”

“Easy. We’ll get one of our friends to help you out,” Alex said, glad he could offer a solution.

Laurens bit his lip and nodded, looking down at the ground.

“What is it?” Alex asked, suddenly worried Laurens hadn’t liked his suggestion.

“I don’t want to go with one of them,” Laurens whispered. “Or any girl.” He looked up at Alexander. “Or anyone but you, Alexander. I’m so tired of hiding us, hiding me. I’m so, so tired.” His eyes started to fill with tears again. 

“Hey, babe, it’s okay. We can manage this,” Alex began to say, but Laurens cut him off.

“I don’t want to manage anymore, Alex. I love you and I’m sick of hiding that like it’s some shameful secret.” Laurens looked away from Alex again. “The more I hide it, the more ashamed I feel of myself. I feel like I’m dirty, and I don’t want to feel that way.”

Alex took Laurens hands in his own, causing the freckled boy to look up at him. “Whatever you decide to do, I’m with you,” Alexander said.

“Really?” Laurens whispered, his eyes wide.

“Of course. I’m always with you.” Alexander leaned forward, pressing a gentle kiss onto the tip of Laurens’ nose. “Always.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Want the Hamilton fun to continue? Come follow me on Tumblr! This fanfic was created from a prompt I was given there that spiraled into something much larger. I still write lil fics based on your prompts every day, so come on over and read and send me one of your own! undiscoveredstory.tumblr.com


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